2-6-10 (Babe to Me)
Hi, Thanks for your email about the storm. Actually, I'm at work right now and it hasn't really amounted to anything...yet!! It was supposed to start Friday night and accumulate by Saturday, but there isn't anything on the ground so far. Maybe it won't be as bad as they predicted. It is definitely cold though. I'm sorry to hear about Julie. I know you have very mixed feelings about her (and rightfully so). I hope Luis is going to be ok. He's been dealt a very sad hand in his later life. I can't imagine how much a hip replacement is going to help Julie at her age, but I suppose it's better than being confined to a wheelchair. Either way, I hope everything works out for both of them. We had such big plans for Johnny's birthday....but.......two days before his birthday he got a stomach/vomiting virus which lasted another two days...and not before he passed it onto Michael and his girlfriend. Needless to say, there was and endless run of puke and poop! Thankfully, I didn't get it...because I use Hand Sanitizer like a crazy person. We were going to celebrate this weekend by going to Benihana, but we'll have to see if the weather is cooperating...Thanks for asking. Talk to you soon.....Oh yeah, enjoy your beautiful dam, stupid sunshine...whatever...this blows.
2-5-10 (Me to Babe)
Hi Babe:
Just wanted to ask you to be careful with this storm heading your way tonight. Try not to shovel the snow, but when you do, watch out for your back. If you need anything, let me know.
I heard from Luis, and he told me his mother broke her hip. She is in the hospital and they are going to do a hip replacement. He is not doing well either.
Hope Johnny had a nice birthday this week.
Keep in touch,
Me
1-28-10 (Me to Babe)
Hi Babe:
This is the 7th or 8th draft of this letter. Im just going to send it because otherwise I can change it everyday, forever.
It was wonderful talking to you, but most importantly was to hear how you feel about me and us directly from you. Even though I heard you say this new guy doesn't stand a chance with you, I wonder who will? Did you feel the same way about me all those years?
I also heard, that my constant telling you how I feel about you, and what "I" want in life, is not what you want. The fact you have told me to go out with someone, tells me a bit about how you feel about me. Can't tell you I will go out with someone, because if so, I will be comparing her to you. And, there is only one you. I should also know better that to expect you to love me since I have changed so much physically--fatter, that one look and you would run the other way.
No one, and I mean no one will get through your armor which you use to protect yourself. The fact you want to clear up your life, your finances, your kids, in fact, everything in your life before you allow someone to share your life with you is a testament to the fact you will not allow anyone to help you and share with you the daily toils of life. There is no way, that anyone of us will ever be clear of baggage, or situations which will allow us to get involved with someone else with a clear slate. Never!
I know you want to stay in NY. Stay living with your kids. Stay with Guy for now. Take care of your finances. Be free of debt. Get medically fit. Be independent. Did I cover all your needs? Well, the only thing, I know you don't realize, which you must address at some point is your need to let go of John and what you two had during your married years. You should allow yourself to trust in a man. Allow him to enter your heart. Allow him to share your life. Allow him to be part of your daily decision making. Allow yourself to love again.
You did say, it wasn't fair of me to put you on the spot like I am. I guess you are right too. The only way I can not put you on the spot about what I want to achieve in life is to let you go: not to make you so important in my life. Hard to do.
I meant it when I said your happiness was most important to me. Also, I heard that there is very little love for me. Perhaps you know what you are doing much better than me. Perhaps you have no long term plans for us. And, you know what makes you happy and you are heading towards achieving it.
I guess you can see for yourself as time has gone by, that I love you more than anyone else in this world. Even more than my own kids. I have always put you first! Can't say I regret that, because it was my choice, but at a time in my life when Im going to need you and them the most, I won't have either.
I cannot say what tomorrow will bring. But for today, you are the only person I wish to share my life with. I know so much about you, and I love so much about you that there is no room in my heart to start finding out about anyone else. Maybe as I get older, and become more frail, I will not care about the things I love about you, and will settle on anyone who will want to be with me. That's for tomorrow to worry about.
For today, I love so very much,
Me
1-14-10 (Babe to Me)
HI, Sorry I haven't responded to your email sooner. You sound angry in your email and I'm trying to find the right words to say. I'm going to call instead of emailing. I'll call soon.
In the meantime, I'm happy to hear that you've begun working at Wells Fargo. I know you felt stifled with the last company, but they did allow you to transfer to Las Vegas, which is one positive part. I'll talk to you soon. Good Luck with the new job.
Me
Hi, Thanks for your email about the storm. Actually, I'm at work right now and it hasn't really amounted to anything...yet!! It was supposed to start Friday night and accumulate by Saturday, but there isn't anything on the ground so far. Maybe it won't be as bad as they predicted. It is definitely cold though. I'm sorry to hear about Julie. I know you have very mixed feelings about her (and rightfully so). I hope Luis is going to be ok. He's been dealt a very sad hand in his later life. I can't imagine how much a hip replacement is going to help Julie at her age, but I suppose it's better than being confined to a wheelchair. Either way, I hope everything works out for both of them. We had such big plans for Johnny's birthday....but.......two days before his birthday he got a stomach/vomiting virus which lasted another two days...and not before he passed it onto Michael and his girlfriend. Needless to say, there was and endless run of puke and poop! Thankfully, I didn't get it...because I use Hand Sanitizer like a crazy person. We were going to celebrate this weekend by going to Benihana, but we'll have to see if the weather is cooperating...Thanks for asking. Talk to you soon.....Oh yeah, enjoy your beautiful dam, stupid sunshine...whatever...this blows.
2-5-10 (Me to Babe)
Hi Babe:
Just wanted to ask you to be careful with this storm heading your way tonight. Try not to shovel the snow, but when you do, watch out for your back. If you need anything, let me know.
I heard from Luis, and he told me his mother broke her hip. She is in the hospital and they are going to do a hip replacement. He is not doing well either.
Hope Johnny had a nice birthday this week.
Keep in touch,
Me
1-28-10 (Me to Babe)
Hi Babe:
This is the 7th or 8th draft of this letter. Im just going to send it because otherwise I can change it everyday, forever.
It was wonderful talking to you, but most importantly was to hear how you feel about me and us directly from you. Even though I heard you say this new guy doesn't stand a chance with you, I wonder who will? Did you feel the same way about me all those years?
I also heard, that my constant telling you how I feel about you, and what "I" want in life, is not what you want. The fact you have told me to go out with someone, tells me a bit about how you feel about me. Can't tell you I will go out with someone, because if so, I will be comparing her to you. And, there is only one you. I should also know better that to expect you to love me since I have changed so much physically--fatter, that one look and you would run the other way.
No one, and I mean no one will get through your armor which you use to protect yourself. The fact you want to clear up your life, your finances, your kids, in fact, everything in your life before you allow someone to share your life with you is a testament to the fact you will not allow anyone to help you and share with you the daily toils of life. There is no way, that anyone of us will ever be clear of baggage, or situations which will allow us to get involved with someone else with a clear slate. Never!
I know you want to stay in NY. Stay living with your kids. Stay with Guy for now. Take care of your finances. Be free of debt. Get medically fit. Be independent. Did I cover all your needs? Well, the only thing, I know you don't realize, which you must address at some point is your need to let go of John and what you two had during your married years. You should allow yourself to trust in a man. Allow him to enter your heart. Allow him to share your life. Allow him to be part of your daily decision making. Allow yourself to love again.
You did say, it wasn't fair of me to put you on the spot like I am. I guess you are right too. The only way I can not put you on the spot about what I want to achieve in life is to let you go: not to make you so important in my life. Hard to do.
I meant it when I said your happiness was most important to me. Also, I heard that there is very little love for me. Perhaps you know what you are doing much better than me. Perhaps you have no long term plans for us. And, you know what makes you happy and you are heading towards achieving it.
I guess you can see for yourself as time has gone by, that I love you more than anyone else in this world. Even more than my own kids. I have always put you first! Can't say I regret that, because it was my choice, but at a time in my life when Im going to need you and them the most, I won't have either.
I cannot say what tomorrow will bring. But for today, you are the only person I wish to share my life with. I know so much about you, and I love so much about you that there is no room in my heart to start finding out about anyone else. Maybe as I get older, and become more frail, I will not care about the things I love about you, and will settle on anyone who will want to be with me. That's for tomorrow to worry about.
For today, I love so very much,
Me
1-14-10 (Babe to Me)
HI, Sorry I haven't responded to your email sooner. You sound angry in your email and I'm trying to find the right words to say. I'm going to call instead of emailing. I'll call soon.
In the meantime, I'm happy to hear that you've begun working at Wells Fargo. I know you felt stifled with the last company, but they did allow you to transfer to Las Vegas, which is one positive part. I'll talk to you soon. Good Luck with the new job.
Me
posted by George Lagarde @ 12:27 PM
0 comments
